I never could have imagined I would be here.
In this moment in time, in this place, in these circumstances, I could never have imagined it.
Life can be difficult and challenging and hard. It can feel like a continuous battle more than a victory. A battle fought against my own emotions, fears, and weariness as much as it is against anything else.
Surely you’ve been there.
Yes, it’s a battle. But if I look at it another way, ten years ago I could never have dreamed I would be here. Take a few minutes with me and remember where you were ten years ago. Personally, I was almost three years into a marriage and over halfway through with that first deployment. With a new little one just turning one, we waited patiently in Clarksville, Tennessee for my sweetie to return home, while working full-time for the local municipality.
Where were you?
At a mere thirty three years of age, I had never planned on marrying some Army guy, living through deployments, and parenting solo for a while, yet that’s where I was. Today, ten years later, I sit in an apartment in Germany with two beautiful children and they same amazing Army guy. Having been through multiple deployments and even more PCSs, learning to homeschool my sweet children, and working with a ministry for military women, God has brought me a long way. Most of the adventure and growth from the Lord has nothing to do with geographic locations or deployment statistics, though.
I know very well what I used to be, don’t you? I also know where the Lord has brought me over that time. Through His grace, love, and patience, He has taught me, blessed me, strengthened me, and grown me more than I could ever have imagined. The longer I am a Christian, the more I can see what the Lord has done in me. I love it, because the longer journey gives a bigger picture of how has worked and continues to work in my life – and I am so very thankful.
Are my eyes on Him? Is my focus on what He is doing and teaching? Do I remember His faithfulness to me and am I reminding myself to continue to trust in His faithfulness? Is my life about Him or am I getting distracted by circumstances or personal feelings?
The Bible tells us, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)
What’s crazy is that I think sometimes this battle rages in my heart just as much as it does in the world. When I don’t feel like enough, when I remember my failures more than my successes, when I start comparing myself to those around me, I get caught up in the battle. You’ll notice that this battle is fiercest when my focus is on me. That’s where the challenge lies.
Life is about Him.
Whenever we take our focus off of Him, we get caught in the mess. I have zero desire to get caught in the mess. So I am determined, with the Lord’s help, to do this less and less. It’s a matter of relationship, time with the Lord, and the continual sanctification He does in my life. It’s about Him.
This week, my prayer is that I will remember what He has already done, trust that He is still doing it today, and walk in hope and victory because life is about Him….and He wins every time.
So, where were you ten years ago? What has He done in you since that time? How are you being intentional about walking with Him today?