I Wish

I Wish

“I wish.”

i wish

These two words can get me in more trouble than anything I know. Surely you have said them too.

This week is one of those weeks. I’ll be completely honest with you. I almost had a pity party…okay, maybe I did have an actual pity party, but not for too long. There are really no excuses. These moments start because I get selfish and I lose my focus.

Late the other evening, I was tired and felt like I had done about five million things that day. We all know I didn’t do that many. But if you had asked me the other night, I would have been for sure I did. I was messaging my sweet honey and made the comment that “I just want to make an impact.” He read through me like a present with no wrapping paper.

We were talking about ministry, book publishing, homeschooling, and chapel activities, the things that make up my life at the present time. His question was one that I did not want to hear, but God knew I needed to. He said, “Do you want to make an impact or a paycheck?” As the conversation went on, he reminded me that I do make an impact – on our family most of all.

The impact is not always easy to see, but my sweet hubby also reminded me that it doesn’t matter. I got the same reminder at Bible study on Tuesday morning. We talked about a lot in our class that day, but one thing jumped out at me. Our facilitator read a verse that was not necessarily connected to our study at all. She read 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Don’t you know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body.

Many words, but only five jumped out at me – YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN.

I caught it alright, loud and clear. Some days I struggle because I really would like a paycheck. Putting time and money (the stuff my hubby makes) into books and ministry, I really long to feel like I contribute to my family and our livelihood. I feel like I spend a lot and my family sacrifices as well in the areas of time and my attention. I start to wonder if it’s worth it.

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After chatting with my hubby and hanging out in Bible study, I was graciously reminded by my Savior that it is not mine to determine what is “worth it” nor what the “impact” will be. I am not my own.

This life is not about me. It’s about Him.

My job is obedience.

That’s it. That’s all I have for today. Obedience, regardless. Can we do just that? Will you join me?

It’s not about a paycheck, our comfort, or even about our families. It’s about Jesus.

If you are questioning this same thing today wherever you are, let me encourage you as Jesus has done with me this week. Our job is not to determine whether things are worth it or what our impact will be, we simply need to be obedient. I am praying that we turn our focus back to Him.

How will you adjust your focus this week? What causes you to struggle with worth and impact?

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